Condoms

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own
condoms
and kept
the same tag-line...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better

Tesco Condoms - every little helps

Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.

Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.

KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.

Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

Safeway
Condoms - Lightening
the load.

Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.

Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.

Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.

Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop

Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper

Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide

FCUK condoms - no comment required.

Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the
pain.

Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.


Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of
you.

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long

Renault condoms - size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin

Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30
minutes

Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)

Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just
cannot reach

Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world


AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service

Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of a
animal

Polo condoms - the condom with the hole

The Manchester United Condom... One Yank and your whole
world
falls apart.

GIrls Masturbate

Do Girls really masturbate? Yes, they do. In fact, 7 percent of the female population utterly admits that they do masturbate. 60 percent of them are just terrible liars! Masturbation does not only involve using hands or fingers, but using dildos and some other stuff.

Did you know that a girl riding in her partner’s knee can stimulate orgasm? Or just by applying light pressure over the vagina can also stimulate orgasm? So, what’s the point here? Most girls usually use pillows to apply pressure over the vagina unconsciously. Because they so often do this that they don’t even realize that this is a form of masturbation.

Have you seen those sassy chicks sitting on the bench, opening and closing their legs? Now, that is Public Masturbation. I tried to ask one of my classmates once that if she knew that what she is doing is Public Masturbation. She just whacked my face with a notebook and left. Gee, I wonder if I made her feel agitated that she left without saying a word.

People find me obnoxious if I ask those kinds of stuffs. But let’s face it, most of us masturbate and it’s NORMAL. I masturbate, even priests masturbate (not that I’ve seen one).

Women always have this “equality thing” that has been going on for years. Women tried to box, drive, play basketball, wear jeans and some other stuff that men do. So if girls do things equally as guys, then girls also masturbates!

Heath Ledger Found Dead

Actor Heath Ledger, 28, has been
found dead in his Manhattan apartment. Initial police reports say that the possibility of a drug overdose is being investigated as the cause of his death.

A housekeeper found Ledger inside his apartment at 421 Broome Street in the Soho section of New York City apartment at around 3:26pm, and even tried to wake him up for his scheduled massage. He was reportedly lying face down on his bed,with a bottle of sleeping pills nearby.

Heath Ledger was later pronounced dead at 3:35 pm EST.

Lieutenant John Grimpal from the New York Police Department says drugs were found at the scene, but investigators are yet to determine how he died. “The medical examiner will determine if that … caused his death or if something else caused his death.”

Entertainment website TMZ says Ledger was discovered “face down on the floor” adding that “law enforcement sources … believe it was not a crime.”

The New York Times says Ledger was discovered by the housekeeper and a masseuse.

They knocked on the door, but “when no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr Ledger naked and unconscious on a bed. They shook him, but he did not respond,” the Times said.

International Celebrities, News, Weird/Shocking

Sinulog 2008

wow, i just got hold of myself. after all the revelries and the street dancing.

well, you see, for those who doesn't know, Sinulog is a festival, like a Mardi Gras here in Cebu.
there were a lot of local and foreign tourist and the party part is the best.

eleven days of non-stop party. you choose what you want, be it reggae or R n B or pop and a lot more depending on your taste, played by hundreds of bands all across the country.

but don't forget, Sinulog is a religious celebration. its in honor of our holy child Jesus. the Santo Nino.

i would want to write more but I'm still having a hangover with all the booze that i had been drinking these past few days.

Filipino monkey

Threats to US ships in the Strait of Hormuz heard at the end of a Pentagon-released recording of an incident between Iranian patrol boats and US Navy warships last week may have been the work of a local heckler known as the “Filipino Monkey”, The Navy Times has reported.

	Watch: Footage released by Iran over US navy vessel incident | Watch: Footage released by the Pentagon

A video released on Friday showed several small Iranian boats approaching US ships in an incident that President Bush has described as “provocative”, while a previously-released audio recording included a threat to destroy the ships.

The Pentagon says the threat was received during the incident.

In accented English a voice is heard to say “I am coming to you … You will explode in a few minutes.” Pentagon officials had previously stated that the voice came from one of the boats, but they are now distancing themselves from that claim, saying instead that they do not know the source of the transmission.

The Navy Times said that the voice in the audio did not match that of an Iranian officer shown speaking to Navy cruiser USS Port Royal over the radio in a video released by the Iranian authorities.

This has led several Navy experts to raise the possibility that a heckler, known locally as the “Filipino Monkey” - or a copycat - could have made the threats.

“Filipino Monkey” is believed to be more than one person. Its modus operandi is to listen in to ship-to-ship radio traffic before jumping in with insults and threats.

According to The Navy Times, US Navy women come in for particularly harsh treatment. A civilian mariner told the paper that the “Filipino Monkey” phenomenon is worldwide, but more common in areas of heavy shipping such as the Strait of Hormuz.

Despite the discovery that Iran may not have been behind the threats, US President George W Bush has not toned down his rhetoric against the Islamic state. Speaking during his eight-day tour of the Middle East, Mr Bush described Iran as “the world’s leading state sponsor of terror,” which funds extremists, stirs up unrest in Lebanon, arms the Taliban, and threatens the stability of the entire Middle East with its refusal to fully disclose the facts surrounding its nuclear programme.

My daugther will screw all night

It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet. Why don’t you have a seat?,”

Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

“Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it!” Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby — so he asks Carrie’s dad to repeat himself.

“Yeah,” says Carrie’s father, “Carrie really likes to screw; she’ll screw all night if we let her!”

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father: ”Dad, it’s called the twist!”

**********************

From www.jo-kes.blogspot.com

Online Casino

I happened to visit an online casino website today, and something about it just caught my eye and grabbed my attention. Actually, what caught my attention was what wasn’t in it. I have become accustomed to the glitzy trashiness of Las Vegas that somehow I expected to see the same flashy lights and blaring sounds coming out of a site featuring online casinos.

Surprisingly, this was not the case here. I don’t know if the designers wanted it this way, but the website is actually easy on the eyes. The site touts itself as a free guide for US casino players to help them find and enjoy a safe and fun online gambling experience. A list of ranked online casinos are presented to the player, along with the bonuses offered, downloads (if available), and payout percentages.

Instead of blinding graphics, the site sports short and sweet banners that catches but doesn’t irritate the eyes. Links to the online casinos themselves are present, of course, along with links to additional information about the casino you’re interested in.

+from Mawe's adobo