Saying Sorry To China with SEx

Published: 16 Jun 2010

A BRAINY Japanese porn star is offering to have sex with the Chinese students — to apologise for her country's invasion of China.
Raunchy Anri Suzuki has a doctorate in Sino-Japanese history and feels so bad about what her countrymen did in 1937 that she is offering to make up for it in the only way she knows how.

The 24-year-old, from Tokyo, has made the naughty offer to Chinese students in her homeland after studying the Japanese invasion.

She said: "We have to respect the lessons of history and although we cannot obliterate it we can try and make recompense.

"I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan.

"I think it would be a symbolic compensation for them."

Japanese porn star Anri Suzuki not only has a doctorate degree in Sino Japanese history, she also wants to personally compensate the Chinese for getting slaughtered like pigs and all in 1937, that shining period in human history when, just like that Metallica album, Japan went all “fuck you! I keel you!” on everyone else’s ass.

Alright, getting a semi-useless Sino Japanese history doctorate degree makes us suspect Anri’s secretly planning about landing a teaching job at the university and bonking her students in the after-hours, like a normal hot teacher person, but we gotta see if what Anri meant by saying “I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan” was actually actual sex, or some fluffy rhetorical “look at me, words coming out of my mouth!” kind of sexytime publicity. But in any case, we hope there’s free video, with Anri squeaking “I’m sorry China!” every few seconds or so, her cute semen-soaked face bobbing in an ocean of Chinese students gangbanging her.


“Boomshakalaka” hooks it up with a very logical question: As Japan also messed up the Philippines, Anri should also bonk all Filipinos in Japan. Pretty much makes sense, eh?